This will likely be the last post on this site but the site itself will still be up for those who want to see it.

This is a picture of Trevor's marker in the garden where he's buried.

We took some pictures at the cemetary. I had a few
people who wanted to see where we buried Trevor's
ashes. It's in the new cremation garden. It's really
pretty up there. This is not ther permanant marker,
we'll be able to take this one in the pictures home
when they get the permanant one on there. I don't
know excactly when that will be, they said it takes a
few months. I'll put pictures on when it's up. Hope
everyone is enjoying my Xanga site. It has been
really good for me.

Hey everyone. I just wanted to let everyone know that
we're almost, but not quite ready to stop adding to
this website. The last couple of things we will post
are pictures of the marker at the cemetery, and the
link to the heritage site that the funeral home is
setting up. We don't know exactly when that will be.

Writing on this site has been very therapeutic for me.
I feel, though, that this is Trevor's site so I don't
want to add much else to it. I have started another
blog at www.xanga.com/CASBDS to sort of keep you all
aware of what is going on in our life. You all have
become integrated into our lives, and as someone told
me, no one stops caring about us just because Trevor
is gone. I can't even say thank you enough for all
the love and support we have gotten. Thank you, Thank
you, Thank you. I hope that you will enjoy my blog.
Again, that website it www.xanga.com/CASBDS and is up
and running now, but doesn't have much on it yet.

The last of our relatives left yesterday so it's just
Brian and I here. It's very quiet around here, I'm
not sure what we used to do with ourselves before
Trevor was born. We're figuring it out.
The funeral home hasn't finished with the website yet,
but we're going to go over there this weekend and take
a picture of the temporary marker. We've had a few
people who wanted to see it. We picked a really
beautiful spot. They have a cremation garden up on a
little hill. There is a fountain, little stream, a
gazebo, and a bunch flowers. It's really pretty.
I just wanted to say "THANK YOU" to everyone that has
been so supportive of us through this time. We have
been amazed at the cards, emails, phone calls and
gifts we have gotten, everything is a little boost for
us. The financial support has been incredible. I
can't even say thank you enough. I just pray that God
blesses each and every one of you.
I do have a question for you all. I have really
enjoyed writing this blog, and am thinking about sort
of keeping one going. Just a few times a month maybe,
I don't know. Would anyone be interested, or should I
just keep a journal? Let me know. I'm not stopping
this yet, so keep checking.

Now that things have settled down a little, I wanted
to let everyone know what happened with Trevor. You
all have been so supportive in everything, and with us
every step of the way, we're not going to stop now.
On Monday the 11th, he was scheduled to have a minor
surgery to put in a tube directly in his stomach
because he still wasn't eating well, and that tube in
his nose was just awful. Sunday night, he had thrown
up a lot, and had thrown up a little bit of blood. I
called in and they had us come into surgery a little
early so that we could have some tests. At first they
just thought that his platelets were down, so he was
going to get more. We waited for quite a long time,
and then the surgeon came in and said that they
couldn't do the procedure because Trevor seemed to
have an infection somewhere. Of course at the time, I
was pretty worried about infections, but that was the
least of our problems. The doctors rushed everything,
he had all tests really fast. The cancer was back and
back worse than ever. They actually gave us the
option of not treating at all then, and just letting
him go then, but at the time, we were still feeling
hopeful. He started chemo again, and after the first
dose, it looked like it was working already. The
numbers were going down, and we really did have a lot
of hope.
Tuesday afternoon, the 12th, his heart started
speeding up. At first it just seemed like it was
anxiety or something, they tried everything. It just
kept speeding up. It got up to 190 beats per minute
while laying in the bed. By 7pm, they had moved him
back into PICU, and needed to put him back on a vent,
thinking that his lungs were doing the same thing they
did last time. They got him on the vent, but it
wasn't working. The doctors and nurses worked on
him for almost 6 hours, and we weren't allowed be in
the room at all. It was they first time ever that we
weren't allowed in with him. His blood pressure
started to drop and they just kept working. There was
a time where we didn't even get an update for 2 hours.
The doctor came in and told us that Trevor was
bleeding internally from something, and that his heart
was damaged. We also found out that the cancer
numbers had actually gone up again, even with the
chemo. We were told that even if he survived the
night, there was basically no way to ever get him in
remission again, and there was no way he would handle
a transplant, which is what he needed. We started to
realize that he was going to die either now or later,
but it was going to happen. We started to feel like
we were doing things to him, instead of for him. We
were just prolonging it. We really struggled with the
thought that we were "giving up" but we realized that
we were "giving over". It has never been in our
hands, and it still wasn't. We made the choice to
turn off the machines. We called all our families to
tell them, and then went to talk to the doctor. Even
though he was already totally unconscious, they gave
him a big shot of medications to make sure, mostly to
make me feel better. We turned on his music and
talked with him and gave him kisses. They turned off
the vent, and he was gone within just a couple of
minutes.
We are very sad that he won't be with us anymore, the
day to day stuff will be very hard. But we are so
excited for his new life to begin. Can you imagine
what Christmas in heaven must be like?? Wow, talk
about fun. He has no more pain, no more pokes, and no
more chemo. He hated chemo. He has been made more
perfect than we can imagine. And we will someday see
him.
The tribute website should be up and going soon, we
will let you all know when it's up. We will also let
everyone know when we won't be adding any more to this site.

Keep checking the website over the next couple of weeks. There is going to be a legacy site that the funeral home will set up that we feel everyone will enjoy

I have been getting some people that want to know what
to do instead of sending flowers· We could always use
donations to help out with medical and funeral
expenses, but if you would like to donate to
something else I will include the information.

The Child Life program is wonderful. They are
people whose job it is to keep kids spirits up and
also use kid friendly to describe what's going on with
their treatment and stuff. They really helped me too,
just coming in to talk to me. Also know that
whatever we have left after all the bills are paid
will get donated to Child Life anyway.

The checks should be made out either us (Brian
or Carrie) and sent to our house, (I'm trying to get
the bank to be able to set it up so that you can just
go into a branch, but there is paperwork that I don't
have time for.) or make the checks out to Banner
Health Foundation. There should be a notation either
on the check or an accompanying piece of paper that
the gift is to benefit the Child Life Program at
Banner Children’s Hospital and is in memory of Trevor
Swift.

The address for the Foundation is:
Banner Health Foundation
2025 N. 3rd Street Suite B 250
Phoenix , AZ 85004

I know that many of you know what is going on, but I
wanted to make sure that none of you is left out.
Over the last few days, Trevor's cancer came back with
a great force. It surprised not only us but the
doctors and nurses with its aggression. Trevor went
to play with Jesus a little before 5am this morning.
As of now the funeral will be on Monday, December 18th
at about 10:00 in the morning. Please keep check his
website in the next day or so, while we finalize some
things. Brian and I thank you and love you all.

We are indeed back in oncology. (Room D114 & phone #
480-512-6601) He was scheduled to have a feeding tube
put directly into his stomach yesterday, so that we
could get rid of the tube in the nose, and they of
course drew some labs. The numbers are defiantly
worse than when the whole thing started. Since they
knew how bad it got so fast last time, they were not
going to wait for anything. In about an hour last
night he got a chest x-ray, a heart echo (ultrasound),
and a bone marrow biopsy. The miracle of it was that
not only were they able to do all that at that time of
night, but they were able to find someone to read them
at that time. He got his first dose of chemo at
midnight last night. The numbers are already getting
a bit better, and we are pleased they are not worse.
They've warned us that it is likely going to get worse
before it gets better. Of course they used the term
"if" it gets better, but I say "when". So everything
is really up in the air again. We don't know how
he'll respond, we don't know when transplant will be,
we just don't know. It's very mind boggling. All I
can say is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!

I just had a very quick call from Carrie. Trevor went in for a procedure this morning and during some tests the discovered the cancer had returned worse then before. They are back at Oncology at Banner Desert.